Traditions. Every year we go to his parents house since mine live so far away. Every year we have turkey, ham, potatoes and salads. Every year we drive half way across our province to meet the needs of tradition. When do my traditions start?

There comes a time when couples begin to start wanting traditions of their own. Something that marks that they are a family. The problem with this is that in the process their parents begin to feel left out. So how do you create harmony with them while still keeping your needs fulfilled? Extensive planning.

In most cases there are two families who both want you there for their supper. By now you have already worked out how to include both into your holidays so that no one feels second to the others. While we all know how busy things are on the actual holiday my husband and I have started our own tradition of having our celebrations a few days before. We don't have what we would expect to eat at his parents house, usually we will have a nice dinner with just our family that works around how thankful we are for each other.

In the past our Thanksgivings have been somewhat non-traditional, what with no turkey or ham, but memorable. At first we found it hard to find meals that we could think of as Thanksgiving dinners and not the usual every night meals, but we realized that the turkey doesn't make thanksgiving it is the people that you spend it with.

What has been in our feasts? Well we have had very simple and elegant dinners ranging from Roast Pork or Beef to Cornish Hens. I have made the meal more extravagant than our usual meals by having things that we only eat on rare occasions. We usually buy items to make a fall punch to drink and the usual pumpkin pie for dessert to tie in the feeling of Thanksgiving.

So really, your own traditions can be started. There is no need to turn over any of the traditions that your parents or his delight in fulfilling. No one's feelings are hurt and you have gained essential time in your busy lives to sit down and enjoy both the bounty on your table and the joy of your family. Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

Jessica Bali and her husband reside in Alberta Canada where they raise their 4-year-old daughter. Together, they have learned that marriage is probably one of the toughest challenges in life, but the most rewarding. She is the editor of YouMarriedHim.com, a community that fortifies marriages and offers great support for when you need it the most.

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