Email This Page To A Friend! By Lee Maloney I must tell you, up front, that I am not your typical food connoisseur. While I can appreciate all of the nouvelle cuisine "Light and Healthy" stuff, and yes, Poached Dover Sole in a Lemon/Basil & White Wine Sauce, served over Angel Hair Pasta does sound appealing at times, just give me a really good piece of meatloaf, some homemade mashed potatoes, and yes (the Cholesterol God will really crawl back on the cross at this thought) a side dish of creamed corn and I am one happy fella. I am so happy, in fact, that I have devoted a major portion of my culinary life in search of "The Perfect Meatloaf!" You are probably thinking that I really should get a new life if one of my passions is searching for the ultimate meatloaf. But let me explain: Meatloaf is, by all terms, a "comfort food." Now, no one likes comfort more than myself. When I am served a hot plate of meatloaf, my thoughts go back to my childhood, when my parents were both still alive, sitting around the family table, talking about all of the things you talk about around the family dinner table, and staring down at my old friend - meatloaf - steaming back up at me, the aroma of meat and onions and whatever else hitting me square in the nostrils, nestled beside a heaping pile of mashed potatoes and whatever canned vegetable Mom pulled out of the pantry - sometimes peas, or green beans - either one an acceptable substitute for the favored creamed corn. We didn't worry about eating red meat. We didn't worry about the cholesterol count. We didn't think about the additives and chemicals in the vegetables - we didn't even apologize for the can they came in. We just had a normal meal like a normal family. Well, Mom & Dad are dead. The mashed potatoes MUST be laden with garlic and use chicken stock to replace the butter and milk. The "meat" part of the loaf has been replaced with free-range turkey, and the vegetables are fresh-picked from my private organically-correct/pesticide-free garden (next to the home-grown herbs). How I long for the Good old days! "The Perfect Meatloaf," or TPM for short, is a crafty, chameleon-esque kind of food. Unlike it's partner, hamburger, which can be listed on a menu under such surnames as "Chopped Sirloin," "Ground Round," or my favorite "Bifteck Hachè," it is still basically hamburger with a higher or lower fat content. Meatloaf, on the other hand, is meatloaf. Plain and Simple. Hamburger or Ground Round - it is still meatloaf! Or is it? As I said, meatloaf is an elusive creature - the menu always reads "meatloaf" but that has absolutely no relevance to what you are going to be served. It's what's INSIDE the meatloaf that separates the men from the boys, so to speak. Hamburger, veal, pork, ground round, turkey - you name it and it can be in the meatloaf. Every imaginable type of bread, from plain old white to torn up French baguettes can go into it. You can stuff it with hard boiled eggs. You can add onions, celery, green peppers, red peppers, garlic and - yes (in homage to our Nouvell Cuisine friends) even cilantro. Mix it all together, throw it in a pan and bake it for an hour. Take it out, slice it and serve it. Voila: Meatloaf! - but what about the ultimate or as we say, TPM? What TPM IS Not Let's start out with what TPM is not. It is not just hamburger, onions, some sort of bread or cracker concoction and eggs. I can tell you this from a first -hand perspective - that is what my mother made. Fortunately, we ate out a lot. Also, do NOT include in your search for TPM any "coffee shop" or "family" restaurant varieties of meatloaf. Many times this is a meatloaf purchased from a food purveyor that is no more homemade than Chef Boy Ar Dee. This quasi-meatloaf comes in tubes and is often grilled and covered with some canned gravy mixture. This should not even be considered in the running for TPM. A good rule of thumb in checking out meatloaf is the gravy. From the traditional brown, to the more Southern cream, the proper topping has a big impact on your meatloaf. I personally go for the more traditional tomato sauce or ketchup lovingly poured on top of the baking loaf and let to cook with the meat for the last 20 minutes or so of cooking time. A favorite variation of this is to add brown sugar to the tomato/ketchup topping and let bake in for the last few minutes of cooking. Excellent. If you must go for the gravy, I would suggest the cream variety for two reasons: first it puts your loaf a step above the traditional restaurant fare and also just seems to taste better than the brown. On my TPM scorecard, however, I only give points for the baked-on toppings. Gravies tend to lend themselves to leftovers and the ever appealing meatloaf sandwich. The Mixture I think the most important thing to look for in the meat loaf itself is the mixture of the meat. A good ratio of veal and pork to beef is essential to keep the meat as moist as possible. A local LA restaurant chain, Du Pars, has a lovely "Danish" meatloaf that tends to lean on the veal side and the flavor is quite different and appealing to the palate. Many chefs tend to go back to the old standby: 1:1:1. That is, one part beef to one part pork to one part veal. Experimentation is certainly encouraged in contenders for TPM. Ideally I look for a moist meat that has a good texture - not just everything ground up like a sausage or something, I want to feel and taste the textures of the different meats and ingredients as they meld their way into TPM. As for the binding ingredient(s) I have tried everything from oatmeal to crackers to bread crumbs. I don't like crackers in TPM. Period. I like bread crumbs if you are making "TPM Itialianne" with a tomato/basil/parsley topping. Perhaps a little Romano or Parmigianna? Oatmeal is a good "hidden" binder and usually is a good choice. Bread chunks are acceptable if you making a "Meatloaf Melange," where I add such things as olives, pimentos, peppers, celery, cilantro, shallots, capers, carrots, and other vegetables. To Egg, Or Not To Egg? This brings up another major question: to egg or not to egg? By egg, I don't mean the raw eggs always used to help bind the mixture. I mean the insertion of hard-boiled eggs in the middle. I suppose fifty years ago it was considered a culinary surprise, but these days I find it quite tired. Also, I am not a particular fan of hard-boiled eggs in meat. Not to mention that if you have a good meat mixture already, why waste space with a tired old egg. On my scorecard, TPM with eggs gets a big zero. A Fork In The Culinary Road Well, we have concocted the Perfect Meatloaf mixture. We have ground, bound, seasoned, chopped, minced, and mixed. Time to mold and bake. We have reached another "fork" in the culinary road. Shall we go the traditional bread-shaped loaf or shall we go exotic and make a veritable work of art? Or do we want to go mini-loaves of meatloaf? A personal choice depending on the situation. One word of caution to our Meatloaf Monets: when planning a special "piece" of meatloaf, adjust your cooking times and temperatures to the size of your masterpiece. Thickness counts. So does height and overall weight. Nothing is more uncool than an undercooked meatloaf or, dare we think, Meatloaf Tartare!! Many chefs also recommend that you wrap the outside bottom of your loaf with bacon to help insure it doesn't stick to the pan. Another personal option, although TPM should be moist enough and have enough residual fat drippings in the pan that I donÕt feel the bacon is necessary. For the bold, why not try Teriyaki Meatloaf, or Cajun Meatloaf, or Meatloaf Francaise (with a light Dijon, white wine, and cream sauce) BBQ Meatloaf, or even Meatloaf Cordon Bleu (stuff ham and cheese wedges inside and bake.) The possibilities are endless. As for this old trailblazer, my quest for the ultimate meatloaf continues. Oh, I have come close many times, but there always is that glimmer of hope that somewhere out there, proudly perched aside a mound of mashed potatoes and, yes, creamed corn, is a hot, steamy, moist, rich, thick piece of the Perfect Meatloaf. Good eating. Recipes While we don't claim that they are the elusive "Perfect Meatloaf," here are a few of recipes to get you started on your search. Turkey/Pork Meatloaf Beef/Pork Meatloaf Lasagna Meatloaf Reuben Stuffed Meatloaf Santa Fe Meatloaf Ricotta Meatloaf Carrot Zucchini Mushroom Loaf (Vegetarian) Dorothea's Slow Cooker French Style Meatloaf Meatloaf Madness Recipe Contest Winners Our meatloaf Madness recipe contest was a huge success. We collected nearly 500 Meatloaf Recipes, and that's a lot of meatloaf! As you can imagine, choosing the winners was a very difficult task. After many arguments and deliberations, our judges and tasting panels have finally come up with the winners. In the traditional category: 1st Prize -- Karen's Tasty Meatloaf -- Karen Shaffer - Ketchikan Alaska 2nd Prize -- Carmel's Kickin' Meatloaf - Carmel Richards, Austin, Texas 3rd Prize -- Steve's Glazed Meatloaf -- Steve Yates, Monticello, Mississippi In the Creative Category: 1st Prize -- Spinach, Sun Dried Tomato & Gorgonzola Meatloaf -- Barbara Campbell, Greenwich, Connecticut 2nd Prize -- Ron's Meatless Meatloaf -- Ronald Regen, Rockaway NJ 3rd Prize -- Extreme Meatloaf -- The "Extreme" Goldman Family of Kansas City, Missouri When Lee Maloney isn't writing food or travel articles, he's busy scoring music and leading the orchestra for some of America's top variety shows. You can reach him at leemalo@aol.com.